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Kid Cactus

Kid Cactus presents
"Big Hollywood Show"

A Musical in 4 Sketches, Sort Of

In a world where this bio is a part of the sketch show we are currently pitching to you, Kid Cactus was formed many, many moons ago. Axel Dangerstone (Daniel Fissmer) was born in a crystal cave deep in an unknown forest somewhere in the East. Raised by wolves and separated from humans for more than 20 years, he knows only two things: the darkest forms of survival, and silliness. Mr. Darcy (Arlo Sanders) mysteriously appeared on Earth 30 years ago. The same night he arrived, legends say they saw a meteor crash into a field off the coast of Mexico. He claims to be from the planet Xanablot; his only wish is to get home to his family and to become a famous and rich comedian – two drives that are in constant conflict with one another. Jerald Boatner (Jarad Kopciak) was thrown into a volcano by an evil orphanage when he was just a baby, as evil orphanages typically do. Three weeks later, at the age of twelve-weeks-old, Jerald crawled out of that volcano a 27-year-old man-baby. Having missed the entirety of his childhood and life, Jerald’s goal is twofold: to party and post selfies on social media. Donnie Gibraltar (Danny Cullen) was born in 1875 to an Irish immigrant. Twenty years later he invented time travel by a stroke of sheer luck. Stepping out of 2016: Donnie meets Jerald, Axel, and Mr. Darcy. Throughout his travels through time and space, Donnie Gibraltar came to understand the meaning of life – being super famous and popular and rich. Inspired by this realization, Donnie created the comedy group Kid Cactus with his new companions with one goal: become super famous and popular and rich.